She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
