It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
