Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
