Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
