Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she pinky promised me she was 18
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
