and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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