Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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