It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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