i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
