Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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