So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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