I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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