I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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