Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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