HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
