Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
