Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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