I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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