Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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