If that was your dad, he is hot
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You pole danced in your parka.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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