I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
