the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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