i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
