who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
