She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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