I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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