i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
