Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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