I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
