I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
