My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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