Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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