Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
