I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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