Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
