I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
