Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
