Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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