Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
