we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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