at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
