I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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