i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
