so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was born a porn star she said
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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