I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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