rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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