im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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