Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
