biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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