I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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