I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
