he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
