sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
