I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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