Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
